Blunt?
by Reever Rayne
Summary: Naruto is clearly not mine...Iruka X Anko.... When Anko got curious...And ask a Really rude question....
1. The great Question!

**Chapter 1-The Great question!**

Mitarashi Anko is a famous ninja for four things:

1. Her fighting style (snake summoner)

2. She never was, or will be, lady-like.

3. She used to be a student of a certain traitor.

4. She is the bluntest person in Konohagakure.

While Umino Iruka was famous for being:

1. Nice to anyone and everyone.

2. A gentlemen.

3. A great cook.

4. The most patient person in town (evidence: Naruto)

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Anko never had any interest in Iruka, but she always wondered if Iruka had a girlfriend before.

'I mean I never seen him with anyone intimately.' Anko thought to herself as she stole a glance at the ever-so-innocent-looking Iruka.

"psst..psst," Kurenai whispered to her, "Have you heard that Iruka is actually gay?"

"Oh my god! No way! I mean that can't be true ...look at him, he looks too innocent," Shizune gasped in disbelief as she squeezed Tonton tightly.

"I didn't believe it at first...but I noticed something. Have you ever seen him dating girl before?" Kurenai asked.

"No..." Shizune said as she released Tonton from her tight clutches.

"But you know, if he is gay, who's his boyfriend?" Kurenai sighed as she rested her left index finger to her temple.

"Probably Kakashi, I mean they seem so close!" Shizune answered

"Hmmm…could be. What do you think Anko? You seem awfully quiet." Kurenai said as she eyed at Anko.

"It's none of my business," Anko answered flatly.

"Yeah, I guess..." Both Shizune and Kurenai replied dryly.

"But I don't think he's gay," with a pause before she continued, "and I am going to prove it!"

"NO! DON'T!" Both Kurenai and Shizune cried in sync as they tried to stop their friend from asking something most likely very unspeakable and awkward; but it was too late to stop Anko. She had already flown down the hallway to where Iruka was standing.

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"So Sensei, where should I put this?" a student asked Iruka.

"On that blue painted table to the right," Iruka answered as he pointed in the direction of the table.

"Hey! You there, Eroka or something!" Anko shouted, pointing at Iruka.

"Oh! Hi Anko-san, how are you? And by the way, it's Iruka no Ero-"

"Are you GAY?" Anko giggled as she emphasized the word 'GAY'

"Am I wha-??"

"ARE YOU GAY?" Anko repeated, and this time louder.

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**Author's note**:_THANK YOU SO MUCH!!Forgotten in Shadows !!You made this craped grammar mess into a great Fanfic!!Again, words cant express my gratitude towards Your work!_


	2. Okay

Kurenai and Shizune slapped their foreheads as they made a hasty retreat.

"So! Are you gay!?" Anko asked yet again.

All eyes were on Iruka and Anko, making the poor chuunin even more embarrassed than he already was.

"No, Anko-san I am not. What made you think I am?" Iruka twitched as he tried his best to refrain from shouting.

"Rumors," She shrugged, "and the fact that no one has seen you date anyone," Anko said bluntly.

"You should know better not to listen in those rumors," he paused, "I just haven't found the right girl yet," Iruka sighed.

"So... what type of girl ya like?" Anko asked curiously.

"Well, for starters I like cute girls with a hearts of gold. Girls who are lady-like and know how to respect Naruto," Iruka replied with a slight blush.

Anko's eyes twitched, "Then...girls like that Hyuuga kid?"

"Whaaa!? Hinata-san? Are you crazy?! She is way too young for me," Iruka bellowed, "and besides she is already taken by Naruto. Now I have some paperwork to do, so please Anko-san, leave me alone."

"Aww... little miss dolphin is angry. Why don't you chill out? Go out with me and get some drinks!" Anko chirped as she fiddled with Iruka's hair.

"NO WAY! The last time I went out for a drink with you I did something embarrassing!" Iruka snapped.

"Oh yeah, I remember now! Who knew Miss dolphy here could do a strip tea-"

Anko was abruptly quieted with her mouth covered by Iruka's hands.

"Please leave now..." Iruka grunted with a murderous aura. Anko fled across the office.

"Alright, alright! Sheesh... you are too uptight. At this rate, you will never lose your virginity! Heheh," Anko mercilessly teased Iruka as she left the office.

Upon hearing that statement, Iruka's face flushed to a deep red.

"At this rate we'll never date..."Anko sighed as she leaned her tense body against a wall, "who was I kidding? The type of girls he likes is lame!"

Anko took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Hey, Kurenai, Shizune, I know you there."

"Ah... you found us." A voice said as two figures crept out of the shadow.

"Kurenai, you are a master in genjutsu. But while you're pregnant you know you suck! And Shizune, you never were great in that department." Anko frowned.

"Awww, that was not very nice!!" Shizune protested.

"Ahh harsh..." Kurenai said sarcastically, "but you know you could have told us that you like him. We could have at least helped you!"

"Yeah! We're your friends!" Shizune frowned.

"Help? I don't need help! I can do this on my own!! "Anko snapped.

"Girl, you need a lot of help," Shizune grinned.

"Iruka wants a lady-like girl, and you obviously not lady-like!" Kurenai giggled, "Look at that unkempt hair!"

"Hey!" Anko protested, "I just don't have the time to-"

"That horrendous fashion sense!"

"What!? I like this!This scares people -"

"No!That scares us!"

"Hey!"

"And last but not least, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THAN BARBARIC ATITUDE!!"

"What the fuck is wrong with my atitu-"

"Your choice of words, and your TOUCH-ME-AND-YOU'RE-MINCED-MEAT attitude of yours."

"So what?!"

"Guys will find you scary!"

"Fine! I fucking lose!" Anko screeched, admiting her defeat.

"Okay! And now let's start 'Anko's Extreme Makeover'! Hehehe," both Kurenai and Shizume laughed evilly.

'More like 'Hey lets torture Anko!' Anko thought as she tried to halt her temptation to kill both of her 'fucked up' friends.

Author's note :Thank you ,Forgotten in Shadows ,for beta-ing this fic seriously


	3. The Torment That Hurts Like XXXX

"OH NO YOU DON'T," Anko screeched as she was dragged (literally) by Shizune to Konoha mall, heading first to the hair salon. It took 30 minutes just to calm Anko down when she saw the scissors snipping across her hair. 6 hours (with every 3minutes interval Anko threatening the hairdresser with a kunai. But of course her friends stop her to do any damage) of pure torture as the hairdresser cut, straightened, and ultimately revamped her ridiculously messy hair.

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Kurenai and Shizune then dragged Anko to every boutique in the mall on a quest to find clothes for her. They forced her to wear all the clothes that they thought would look good on her.

"OH MY GOD!!" Shizune said, eyes twinkling.

"OH MY GOD!"Anko exclaimed

"Yes! OH MY GOD!Its like a dream come true. I truly never thought this day would come!" Kurenai nodded.

"I.AM.A.**SLUT**!THE BIGGEST** WHORE** ON EARTH!!" Anko cried.

"Correction!The hottest slut on earth!!" Kurenai answered calmly and positively

"Your saying that because your my friend!"

Kurenai just opened her mouth and then close it back not saying anything.The hesitation obviously deemed to be insulting towards Anko.

"That's not true!Look at..."Kurenai paused

"Anyway..."Kurenai said changing the subject

"I HATE YOU!"Anko scream at her top of her lungs

"OH MY GOD!50 percent sale at the shoe department!" Shizune cried.

"Really WHERE??" Kurenai ignoring Anko's hate statement "Seriously, Shizune What we will do without you"

"I know..."Shizune just trailed off

Anko helplessly rolled her eyes as she was getting dragged away, again."Make it quick"

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"And the last touch... high-heels...this will prove the world that you are indeed a real woman," Shizune giggled as she clap her hands dramatically .

"So..All this while you think I am not a woman.."

"hypothetically..speaking Anko! Geez your talking like a head case"

"There...You look less ..."Kurenai said

"psychotic?violent?Harmful?"Shizune suggested

"Shizune, I love you.."

"Your despicable...your the worse friends ever"Anko scowl

"Great!This just proves it.. I LOOK LIKE THE CHEAPEST WHORE IN THE HISTORY OF WHORES!"

"Now,now Anko stop degrading yourself your at the lowest already" Kurenai sigh

"Okay...how should I say this..."Anko said as she rub her temple.."Picture yourselves as men...Imagine me being as real whore and walking in the cold night of a dark alley !!" Anko protested as she walk like a train wreck. "Would you as a men hire me?look me in the eye and tell me the truth"

For the whole 3 minutes the silence drifted in the air.

"Exactly that what I thought"Anko used her sarcastic tone

"Well...If I am a sexually frustrated old man who has been widowed for like 30 years...I think I will" Kurenai hesitated as she check her nails

"YOUR THE WORSE FRIEND EVE-"

"I would"Shizune flailed

Shizune's answer has made even Kurenai left shocked.

"Really?You don't know how much this means to me"Anko said as she saw a glint of hope

"If I am horny enough..."Shizune added

"But YOU are never horny!"Anko screamed

"Anko!Focus!Say this with me 'I am not a slut'"Kurenai drew a sigh

"I am not a slut "Anko follows mechanically

"I am beautiful"

"I am beautiful"

"I will wear high heels even though this doesn't work out"Kurenai said it quickly

"I will wear hee-what?!Oh HELL NO!YOU TRICKED ME!!"Anko screech as she trailed her eyes to her feet. Kurenai just huff out another sigh

"...Wow...these DO look good."

"Yea-what? Did I hear that right??" Shizune gaped.

"Oh my god! I didn't know our Anko had a feminine side!" Kurenai said.

"Shut up! ...Wow, this is comfortable..." Anko cracked a subtle grin as she tried to practice on walking with the heels.

"Of course it's comfortable; it is what you called branded foot-wear. They not only look good, it also makes you feel good!" Shizune said matter-of-factly.

Anko walked in the heels like a natural. That it kind of caught her friends off guard.

"Wow. I thought you couldn't walk in heels?" Kurenai asked.

"Wooo!! I am a natural BABY!!" Anko replied.

"Wow, the magic of Prada!" Shizune snickered.

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"So... I am just curious. How are you going to set me up on a date? Not that I am not grateful for what you did for me..." Anko asked as she carried the humongous loads of shopping bags.

"Easy! My boyfriend has way to persuade Iruka to go on a date with you!" Shizune innocently chirped.

"Who is your boyfriend again?"

"It's Genma! You know, the guy who was the instructor in the chuuin exam!"

"Oh..." Anko replied with a smirk. 'Persuade? More like blackmail if Genma were to ask.'

"Well this ended well! No one lost their hands during Anko's makeover session, right Shizune?" Kurenai teased.

"Right!"

"Hey! You gu-" Anko replied before getting cut off.

"Anko, I have to thank you. After Asuma's death I haven't had fun until today..."

"Erm...well...your welcome..." Anko said with hesitation.

"Well this concludes our 1st phrase! Now for the date itself!" Both Shizune and Kurenai exclaimed excitedly.

The word "shit" echoed through Anko's mind after she heard those words from her friends.

* * *

_**Author's notes**_**: ****Forgotten in Shadows**** is the best beta reader you could ever get!!**

**edit:revamp lots of stuff  
**

**And my sis she is my inspiration!(she is like a real life Anko)**


	4. The Uneventful

**Chapter 4:The uneventful**

"What do you want Genma?" Iruka asked, still concentrating on his paperwork.

"What? I just have a request from my girlfriend," Genma answered simply.

"With you, it never is a request, it's blackmail. What happens if I refuse your 'request'?"

"Awww, I am so hurt."

"Seriously, what do you want?"

"Well..." Genma paused dramatically, "My girlfriend set you up a blind date with someone...ermm, special."

"Well, that wasn't so bad. Unless she is setting me up with a male," Iruka sounded dangerous and sarcastic for awhile there.

"No no, don't worry it's a female!"

"Right," Iruka cocked his brows in suspicion.

"Fine, if you don't do this I show everyone your sexy nude picture with-"

"OK! I'll do it! Just don't show that to anyone."

"Hahahah. As long you're willing to do the other part of the bargain," Genma grinned

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Beneath the mist of powder, lay Anko, being pinned down by Shizune while Kurenai put some make up on her. The eyeliner almost poked through Anko's eye.

"The more you resist the more dangerous it is!" Kurenai shouted.

"I don't care! I am not wearing any of this! It's anno-pfttt," Anko cried as Kurenai put a bit of lipstick over her lips.

"Shizune! When the hell you get this strong?!"

"I ate a strength pill," Shizune replied with a toothy grin.

"DAMN IT ALL!" Anko protested.

"JUST STOP MOVING!" Kurenai and Shizune shouted in unison.

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"YAY! She looks pretty!!" Both Kurenai and Shizune said, congratulating themselves.

Anko just breathed out a sigh as she forced a smile.

"Now, remember Iruka likes girly girls so control your attitude!" Kurenai said as she pointed at Anko dramatically.

"Yea, yea I know. Anyway, I going to be late so, bye," Anko said before she left her friends.

"Our creation has grown into a fine young lady," Shizune said as she shed a tear of happiness.

"Yea...but we still got to spy on her ...you coming?"Kurenai suggested

"Of course I am coming!Who in the right mind would miss this sort of entertainment! "

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Iruka was wearing a pale blue-gray suit with a checkered tie to go along with it. He let down his hair so it would extend only to his shoulders. Iruka was waiting, waiting for his date.

Now he is trying to find way to politely reject his date if it went badly.

While he was scheming, something caught his eye, something that stood out from the crowd, something mesmerizing. He saw a woman wearing a draped crimson red dress with grim red high heel with a flower design up front. Her violet hair seemed to flow down to her shoulders. Her face was a bit pale with lightly redden lips.

"Ermm, Iruka-san?" she asked shyly.

_'So this is my date. Not bad,_' Iruka thought, relieved.

"Yes, you must my blind date right? May I know your name?"

"I am ermm-" The girl was interrupted by a man who bumped her.

"STOP BLOCKING THE WAY SLUT!" the man barked

"WELL I AM TALKING TO SOMEONE HERE! ARE YOU BLIND!?" The girl suddenly raised her voice as she grabbed the collar of the man, lifting him up and then throwing the man down. She started to kick the man multiple times as the man groaned in agony. She only then realized what she had done when Iruka called her "Anko? Is that you?"

"Oh, I mean- Iruka help me, that man is, ermm, bullying me..."

"I don't think you need my help...he is kinda unconscious," Iruka said, bemused.

"You, are not human! NOT HUMAN!YOU'RE A MONSTER!" the now black-eyed man pointed at Anko.

"Oh who me?" Anko said innocently and sweetly, "You must be delusional. Oh, you must have lost your wife in the war. I really feel for you. Come on Iruka, can we take him home?"

"NOT HUMAN!" the man screamed before he ran away.

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"Oh my god that stupid BITCH ...That is so why that I am scared of she being all that type of single woman with 13 cats alone.."Kurenai sighed...

"She hates cats."

"Well dogs"

"She hates any living creature..that how she broke up with Kakashi"

"Shizune you are not getting the point here!"

"well.. don't worry! See, they are talking and they are going to the restaurant we reserved for them !"Shizune said being hopeful

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"Wow you look good. I did not recognize you there! Well, until you beat the crap out of that guy, ahahah," Iruka seized the opportunity to tease Anko.

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" Anko grunted.

"It's a compliment," Iruka reassured her with a smile, "Well I'm quite surprise that you're my date!"

"Well, ermm I was surprised too," Anko put on a plastic smile.

_'Blind date, well that's original,' _Anko thought as she mentally sneered at her friends.

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"Wow, things seem to be going smoothly," Kurenai said calmly.

"Yes, they are. Aww look how romantic it is!" Shizune squealed.

"Oh look, their food...is served...shoot! We didn't teach her 'table manners'!"

"Oh God! She eats like a cow!" Shizune squawked at the sight of her friend eating.

"Oh look, she stopped. Iruka is teaching her to use the...fork..."

"How embarrassing."

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"Haha. I never knew The Great Anko dressed up for dates," Iruka grinned.

"No! It's my friends who think dressing up is important!" Anko fumed, as she hid her blush.

"Oh. Well that's..." Iruka paused for a moment and then finally said "interesting. So, who ermm, dressed you up?"

"Shizune and Kurenai," Anko grumbled as she folded her arms.

"Well send them my thanks for making you this gorgeous!"

"Tell them YOURSELF!"

"Haahahhaa feisty as always."

"You-"

"Iruka-Sensei! Is that you?" The voice of a young man interrupted Anko's "Feisty-ness".

"Well, if it isn't Naruto and Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka exclaimed.

_'Great! The dumb blond and the mask man here. Perfect,'_ Anko thought as she sighed.

"Hey who's this chick?" Naruto ask with his usual signature grin.

"Wah, Iruka-sensei, you got yourself a fine date there," Kakashi said with that usual bored tone.

"Haha thanks," Iruka said as he scratched the back of his head.

Naruto was in deep concentration. He was staring at Iruka's date, trying figuring out who she was. Suddenly his imaginary light bulb lit up, "Hey! I know you! Your the from that magazine Kiba brought today! The one topless-"

"NARUTO," Iruka said slowly, his voice threatening.

"Stop, Iruka. Let me do the honors," Naruto could have sworn he saw an evil smirk on Iruka's date when she uttered those words.

"Alright the honor is yours," Iruka snickered.

"Oooo, what are you going to do? Hit me with your handbag?" Naruto laughed.

Kakashi just let out a sigh before he moved back to enjoy the show.

"Oh. You have no idea," Anko said in a sarcastic tone.

"Holy Shit! SNAKES!! OH MY GOD YOU'RE THE SNAKE BITCH!!" Naruto screamed as he realized his idiocy.

"RUN BASTARD! **RUN**! HAHAHAHAHHA," Anko laughed like a maniac as she summoned more snakes to attack Naruto.

Iruka couldn't help but to chuckle.

"No! No more! NO!" The distressed blond boy screamed.

"Now,now Anko,no matter how entertaining this is...He suffers enough already...,"Kakashi said.

"DON'T TRY TO STOP ME"Anko hisses to Kakashi

"You don't want Iruka to see you like this do you?" Kakashi whispered at Anko.

Upon hearing that she stopped, brushed her self off, and reverted back to a "normal" girl.

"Mind my ruthless behavior," Anko said sweetly, as if nothing has happened.

"Haha. That was quite a show there Anko!" Iruka gave Anko a charming smile.

"Why thank you. I just hope I was not too harsh on your, ermm, Godson."

"Well speaking of Naruto, recently I heard the Kyuubi is getting more and more unstable," Kakashi said with a small frown, his voice dropping to a whisper.

The topic sparked Iruka's "Worried Father" instinct to a flame, which made him…well worried. He started discussing with Kakashi about Naruto's condition, which really made Anko feel left out.

"Anko! What in the heavens are you doing here?" Shizune said mechanically.

"Oh. Hey Shizune," Anko greeted Shizune with a hug

"What are you doing here?" Anko whispered to Shizune softly.

"Just follow me," Shizune replied with a wink.

"Oh gee. I need to go to the bathroom. Anko could you follow me? I am scared of ...rapists," Shizune said in a super fake tone while she pulled Anko into the lady's room.

"Since when your afraid of RAPISTS?!"

Both men could hear Anko's protest in the background as they entered the bathroom.

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"What the hell was that?! YOU KNOW YOR ACTING SUCKS! And why the hell are you here?!" Anko demanded.

"What? Hey my acting skills are not that bad. Plus I took an acting class okay? Is this the thanks I get for saving you from that boring talk?" answered the annoyed raven haired girl.

"SO YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON ME FOR THE WHOLE TIME? Don't tell me Kurenai joined too?"

"Yes, who would in the right mind miss this much fun? Anyway, I need to redo you make up after the "KILL NARUTO" Rampage,"Shizune frowned while she re-applied some make up on Anko.

"Kurenai isn't here. She felt a bit sick, so she went home. The pregnancy must be tiring her."

"Oh..." Anko said as she let Shizune re-apply her make up without any resistance.

"There, done! Once you're outside, I won't be spying on you anymore."

"Shizune...thanks...for everything."

--

As the two kunoichi when out of the restroom they saw something wrong, something disgusting, something bad. They saw Kakashi and Iruka kissing.

"OH MY GOD! THAT IS HOT!" Shizune exclaimed,"I mean wrong. Ermm, bad Iruka."

Anko was too shocked for words, but she finally screamed, "I WEAR A **SKIMPY DRESS**, SHIT LOADS OF **MAKE UP** AND WEAR THESE STUPID FUCKING **SHOES **FOR THIS!? IRUKA WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! DO YOU HAVE TO **HURT** ME LIKE THIS?! IF YOU HATE ME JUST REJECT ME THE OLD FASHION WAY, NOT LIKE THIS!! FUCK!!"

After shouting that she began to wipe her make up off and tore away her accessories as she ran away, crying.

"Anko-san it's not what you think!" Iruka cried.

"Shut it pretty boy," Shizune silenced Iruka with a grim frown.

"And you," Shizune turned on Kakashi, "You better thank God that I am not in the killing mood today."

After that Shizune run to try to catch up with Anko.

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**Author's note:Please re-read chapter 3 I did some major revamping..and thanks ****Forgotten in Shadows**** for beta-ing this****...chapter 5 is also underway! **


	5. Its That Time Again!

Chapter 5: It's That Time Again!

Anko threw her handbag on her bed. She ripped off her dress and threw her high heels in the trash can. She then changed back to her usual clothing that her friends forbade her to wear ever again.

She went into her kitchen and took a tub of chocolate ice cream (her friends seemed to have hidden all her sake.) She placed herself in front of the television, sitting on her couch with her legs resting on her coffee table. She then turned on the TV to relieve herself.

"_Oh, Alehandro!! I love you!" _A woman exclaim as she ran towards a man.

"_Oh, Maria! Let's kiss!" _Alehardro kissed Maria passionately.

"Fucking TV!" Anko sighed as she switched the channel.

"_But...Ma..I am...gay.."_

"Don't make me a Homophobe!" Anko curse as she again changed the channel.

"_Look Ma! I can walk with high heels!" _A girl chirped as she walked gracefully with her heels.

"_But you're only ten years old! You're a real wom-"_

Anko threw a handful of kunai at her TV, "I swear I will kill those TV people! FUCKING BITCHES!" Anko screeched.

"Calm down Anko...okay," Anko took a deep breath as she turned on her radio.

"_Yo! This is DJ Izu! It's that time again ya'll! It's Dedication HOUR!! YEA! The hotline is open for music request NOW! Oh that's our 1__st_ _caller!" _Dj Izu chuckled, "_Hello There!"_

"_Hey! Ermm, this is Shizune,"_A voice of a sheer girl is sounded from the radio.

'Shizune?' Anko thought.

"_Oh hey there Shizune! Any song dedications?" _asked the chirpy DJ.

"_Yes…I would like to dedicate this song to my heartbroken friend!" _Shizune chimed.

"_I would like 'First love' from Utada Hikaru please! ANKO IF YOU HEAR ME DON'T KILL YOURS-"_

The DJ seems to hang up the line before Shizune could finish.

"_Well, that was..." _The DJ paused dramatically, "_Weird...Anyway here is 'First love' by Utada Hikaru! Enjoy y'all!!"_

"THAT FUCKING BITCH!! I AM GOING TO KILL HER! **KILL HER**!!" Within an instant, Anko's radio was left in smithereens.

--

**Author's note:Miss me?hahhahaahah...and still I have not kept my promise...Mangaka's War here I come...sry guys...**

Special Thanks to Forgotten in Shadow!! yay love ya!


	6. Of All Things

Chapter 6: Of all things

BANG! BANG!

'Ignore it Anko....Ignore it.....'Anko pretended to sleep, ignoring the banging of her door.

BANG! BANG!

'Just simply ignore it....it will just go away....'

BANG! BANG! BANG!

'........'

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!!

'...............................'

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"YOU FUCKING PRESISTANT DYKES!!!" Anko began to howl.

"I knew she was wide awake!!!" A cheery voice could be heard from behind the door.

"Come on Anko, you can't hide in there forever,"A voice of a matured woman could be heard.

"Yeah! We got a present for you!"

Anko stood up from her bed, stomped out of her room to her living and to her front door.

She ripped the door open and exclaimed, "Can't you just LEAVE ME ALO-"

Anko was interrupted by the sight of Shizune holding a kitten.

"Would YOU leave this kitty alone lying on the street?" Shizune said as she handed the kitten to Anko.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" Anko screamed.

"It's a kitten!" Kurenai answered, "Isn't it cute?"

"I KNOW IT'S A FUCKING KITTEN! WHY IS IT HERE!!??" Anko started to interrogate her friends.

"It's your present silly." Shizune grinned as she handed the kitten to Anko, "We found it on the street!"

"WHY YOU-"

"You know you should start collecting cats. After all, you will be single all your life. Living with 13 cats all alone…" Kurenai just sighed.

"GO TO HELL!!!"

"Aww...the very least you can do now is help the poor kitty cat." Kurenai used her sarcastic tone.

"Are you here to cheer me up or insult me?" Anko asked grimly, griping the cat tightly.

"Both!" Shizune chirped.

"I HATE YOU PEOPLE!" Anko slammed the door.

=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=

"Congrats Naruto, you have officially ruined my life." Iruka let out a heavy sigh.

"Well it's not my fault that snake bitc-"

"You mean Anko-sensei," Iruka corrected.

"Yea, whatever. Anyway, one of her fucking snakes bit my ass and I couldn't help but run and accidentally bump into you!" Naruto moaned as he rubbed his behind, "Well at least it was Kakashi-sensei not Gai..."

"If it was Gai-sensei, you would probably be dead now. Anyway, not only does everyone think I am gay, now everyone thinks I am dating Kakashi," Iruka started to bang his head on the table, "and that was my 1st kiss..."

"Quit being childish. You are not the only one who is suffering." Kakashi appeared out of nowhere.

"Most of the jounins now are mocking me," Kakashi paused dramatically, "Oh yes, **even Gai.**"

"HAHAHHAHA! Now **THAT** is what I call **SAD**! AHHAAH! Even **GAI** can **MOCK YOU**!! HAHAHA," Naruto laughed at the agony of the silvered haired man.

"**N-A-R-U-T-O**" Iruka grimly glared at Naruto with a dreadful tone, which silenced Naruto's laugh.

"Oh crap, I just remembered I got a meeting with ermmm..Ero-sanin.....Ermm..,Got to go," Naruto stuttered as he tried to escape.

"Oh No YOU DON'T!" Both men grabbed Naruto's shoulders.

"Since you got us to this mess-" Iruka hissed.

"You better fix it." Kakashi finished Iruka's sentence with his usual bored tone, "Or else we will both personally give you-"

"HELL!" Iruka continued.

"Okay, okay....chill," Naruto replied with a shaky voice.

"Well then okay. Who is up for a bowl of ramen!?" Iruka reverted back to his normal nice self.

"Me...?" Naruto replied doubtfully.

"Don't worry, I wont poison you! Although that is a good idea hehehe...." Iruka crooked an evil smile.

'I am in Deep shit....' Naruto thought as he tried to keep a distance from his 2 sensei.

=_=_=_=_=_=_=

"Don't give me that look! STUPID CAT!" Anko glared at the kitten that she just received from her friends.

The kitten was just in front of her, staring at Anko with very sad eyes.

"What? You want food?" Anko asked the kitten.

The kitten just crawled towards Anko closer.

Anko just couldn't stand it anymore. She stood up, went to the kitchen, took some fish left-overs and gave them to the kitten.

The kitten just turned away from the food and crawled even closer to Anko.

"NO? What the hell you want??" Anko barked.

'Great, now I am talking to a cat...' Anko massage her head.

The kitten crawled even closer and then finally, it rubbed its furry head to Anko's ankle. Then it started to purr.

'Damn, that cat is cute...." Anko thought as she lift the kitten up and put it on her lap.

The Voice of her friends suddenly rang inside her head,'13 cats...Single...Alone....GAY..."

Anko started to cry her heart out as she cuddled the kitten tightly.

Suddenly something came up inside the jounin's head. Something bad ...something cruel....something devious....it was '**REVENGE**'

"Just you wait Iruka. The Fun is just about to start" Anko thought loudly as she pat her kitten, making her look like a Villain who was patting her familiar.

()()()()()()()()

**Author's note:**_**Miss me?HAhahahah I know I been gone like...3~4 months or so?*shot***_

_**SORRY!!...This chapter I had to redo 8 times and the 1**__**st**__** draft has a completely different story....like Iruka knock the door.....tell what really happen they had a make out session and the end of blunt....but now that is just sad if I end it there wouldn't it?So I continue!although I am not really satisfied...but Okay!_ Don't kill me for this!**_

_**As usual I would Love to thank Forgotten in Shadows!!!!!for helping me beta this!**_


	7. Apples Parachute The Boys Back Down

"K.A.S...In position. Its show time girls"Shizune whisper at her walkie talkie

"Ewww..That sounded so lame..You should Stop playing that game....."Kurenai's irritated voice could be heard from Shizune's walkie talkie

"Hey!!I love that game !especially the ending when-"

"WE DON'T CARE!"Kurenai and Anko shouted

"Jeez..just do what I told you to do okay?"Anko groaned in frustration

"But I really love that game..."Shizune mumbled

"JUST DO IT!!"There was a dangerous edge to Anko's voice as she deliberately ignore Shizune's sentence

"Okay.. I said okay..."

==_=

Today was a really odd they for me. For some reason everyone kept staring at me like I was some kind of a criminal. Some of my co-workers blushed and giggle immediately when they saw me. I checked on my self appearance to see if there anything wrong that gave me some unwanted attention ...It seems that I looked fine...my fly is tightly zipped..there is nothing on my teeth...my hair is as normal as it could be...so what is it?

Arrgg...I don't care anymore!...I need to get home and relax...I can't just waste my day thinking of "What's wrong with me?" kinda thing...

Oh there's Naruto!

"Hey!Naruto!"I waved at him

He seems to shuddered when I called him...weird...oh well maybe I caught him off guard when I call him.

"Oh err-Hi-Iruka-sensei-How-are-you?..."Naruto stutter as he hid the stack of paper he was holding behind his back.

"I am Fine!Thank you..."I gave him my trademark smile. Wait....This is Naruto....He never asked me how I do today...or anything...okay this is weird....and what is he holding?

"Oh Great!Great to hear that!"Naruto replied as he took a step back ...to retreat probably...

Hey....He is going to escape?Usually its me who tries to escape him(He truly have a bottomless stomach...it's good for his growth development but bad for my wallet...)....

"Wait! Naruto...Did something happen that is related to me?Because everyone has been acting wierdly-" I grab him on his shoulder to prevent him from running

"Ermm what?Nothing!Its Nothing!No one is acting weirdly!"Naruto said quickly cutting my sentence shorter than planned

"Including you"I continued

"What are you hiding anyway?"I point at the stack of papers he has been hiding

"No-Nothing at all" Naruto's face turn pale

"Really?"I asked him with an unconvinced face

"Really!"

"No I don't trust you...Give it to me"

"No!"

"Give It!"I roar as I snatch the stack of papers.

To my horror...It's a picture of me....STRIPING!

I blush furiously.

"Where...did ...you...get ...this?"I say slowly,still taken aback by the picture(of me) that I just saw...

"I don't know!"

"WHERE?!"

"I...I..."Naruto squeak as he was getting interrogated

"Where **DID** you find it?"

"In town!"He finally answered

"In town? WHERE?!"

"It was posted everywhere!"

I let go of Naruto. I could feel my face turning dangerously pale.

"Hey look at the bright side!At least you look good in this picture!"Naruto smiled as he gave his failed attempt to brighten up my mood.

"Yea...."I gave a weak smile as I pinched myself,hoping that this is all a bad dream, but that was not the case..

"I er...got to go..." I dash away with my head held low in embarrassment until I reach home...

I tried to open my door hastily and accidentally threw my hand at the door as I find my keys.I curse silently.

When I finally open the door,I threw my bag on the ground. I really need a nice warm shower to keep me calm right now...this such a **BAD** day for me.I switch the water heater on. While I was waiting for the water heater to heat up the water,I check my answering machine.(lets hope there no message about that poster..)

"You have 2 message"

"Hey...This is Rika from work!I just want to say that no matter what's your orientation are,I am still your friend!I will still like you the way you are even though you gay!hehe..Oh ..We can go shopping together !Like BFFs!Then after that we could do our nails at-"

I quickly thrust my index finger onto the next button..Oh my God...did someone saw what happen in the park?....Shit...

"Next message"

"YOU DUMP ME BECAUSE OF A GUY?!YOU FUCKIN-"

How does SHE knows the incident?Fuck..As it is my break up with her was not pleasant...i had to face a lot of death threat after I told the break up news(from voice message,mail....there was once she sent me a parcel full of trash...wow that was gross..)

What did I do to deserve this?FUCK!This just not fair after all I do the charity work(Half naked car wash...(this is horrible...those perverted girls kept on touching me)...,Giving money to beggars and FEEDING NARUTO...(that I think is a charity!)).

I've been patient at teaching kids that have a hormonal charged mind which irritate the hell out of me. I Helped an old woman to cross the street even though I am FUCKING late for work. I didn't cheat on a test before when I was young....(okay maybe once or twice but not more than twice..i think..But still).I endured death threat from my ex-es.(i think god still owe me for that)

The only things that I really mess up is Genma's stupid blind date!And it's not my fault!NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!This sucks!

Suddenly, a jolt of wisdom shook my mind...I think I know who did this.....Its Anko.....quoted from Naruto..."THAT SNAKE BITCH!"

I WILL GET HER- I mean i will talk to her in a civil way and ask her to stop .....Let's hope that will work.

____

Author's note

**I know its been months since i updated...SORRY!!!I AM NOT DEAD YET!!I AM TRULY SORRY!!!Don't KILL ME!!**

**Hehe there an FFX-2 reff and MegandDia reff  
**

**This IS NOT THE BETA-ED VERSION**

**so i know there is mistake everywhere !please don't kill me for this...i been keeping this for 4 days...and the beta-ed version is coming out slowly....SOON...don't worry i will change once its done!**

**On other news...MANGAKA WARS IS ON AN ETERNAL HIATUS...sadly...I can't continue that story...**


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